Who says our English is trash? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Singaporean: No stock!



RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?
Singaporean: Hello, who call huh?



ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?
Singaporean: S-kew me.



WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Singaporean: No need lah.



WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Singaporean: (pointing at the door) Can ah?



WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Singaporean: No need shy one lah!



WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Singaporean: Where got?



WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Singaporean: Don't want lah.   



IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.   
Singaporean: You mad ah?



WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Singaporean: Shut up lah!   



WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?
Singaporean: See what, see what?



WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..
Singaporean: Die lah!!



WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?  
Singaporean: What happened ah? Why like that one lah?



WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.
Singaporean: Like that also don't know how to do!

Thank you very much!!!!!!