1. A French Traveler
    A Frenchman was once traveling in England. He could speak English quite well but not perfectly. For one thing, his vocabulary was not large.
    One day, he was having a meal in a small country hotel and wanted to order some eggs. But he couldn't remember the word for eggs.
    Suddenly, through the window, he saw a rooster walking in the yard. He immediately asked the waiter what the bird was called in English.
    The waiter told him that it was called a rooster.
    The Frenchman then asked what the rooster's wife was called.
    The waiter told him that she was called a hen.
    The Frenchman then asked what the hen's children were called.
    The waiter told him that they were chickens.
    The Frenchman then asked what the chickens were called before they were born.
    The waiter told him they were called eggs.
    "Fine!" said the Frenchman. "Please bring me two eggs and a cup of coffee."
l·perfectly     熟练地
2. vocabulary     个人所使用的词汇量 (集合名词，单数概念.)
3. rooster  公鸡(美国英语，同cock.)
4·bird    此处泛指禽类。
点评    这位法国人说的英语实在不敢恭维;但他能利用极之有限的几个单词，解脱了困境，其急智与机巧令人叹服。
2. A Smart Boy
    William Henry Harrison, the ninth president of the United States, was born in a small town. As a young boy, he was very quiet and shy. In fact, he was so quiet that many people thought he was stupid.
     "It's a funny things," William's mother said to him one day, "I know that you are a smart boy, but sometimes you let people think you are not so smart. I wonder why?"
    The people of the town liked to play tricks on this boy who they thought was so stupid.
     "Here, William," one of them would say. "Here is a nickel, and here is a dime. Which one do you want?"
     William always chose the nickel, and all the people would laugh at him.
     Finally, his mother took him aside and said to him, William, why do you always choose the nickel instead of the dime? Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel?"
     "Certainly I know it," William answered slowly, "but if I choose the dime, then people won't play the trick on me any more. Then I won't get any more nickels."
注释
1. It's a funny thing.   这真逗。
2·play tricks on   跟……开玩笑，戏弄
3·nickel  五美分硬币
4·dime    十美分硬币
5·not...any more    不再
点评  有的成年人常以为儿童年幼无知，喜欢作弄他们，殊不知自己被小孩作弄了还蒙在鼓里。
3. But I Missed Again
     Peter Judd joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting. One day he and his friends were practising their shootings, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, "You're quite hopeless. Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!"
     Peter felt ashamed?. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.
     "Heavens!" the officer said, "Has that silly man really shot himself?"
     He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. "I'm sorry, sir." he said, "but I missed again. "
注释
l·were practising their shooting  正在练习射击
2·shot at瞄准(shot的原形动词是shoot，shot是过去分词.)
3.felt ashamed   感到羞愧
4·missed again    又没打中
点评  前九次他均未射小靶子，幸亏其射击技术差到极点，第十次才没有射中自己。这次恐怕教官不会埋怨他了吧。
4. Getting Lost
    A couple from another country was once visiting Miami. They wanted to take a walk and to see the city, but they were afraid they might get lost. They did not speak any English.
     After they left their hotel, they went to the first street corner and looked at the names of the two streets. Then they carefully copied the two names into their notebook, they thought that this would help them find their way back if they got lost.
     They walked for hours through the city, and suddenly they realized that they were lost. They found a police officer and asked for help, but the officer didn't speak their native language.
    After an hour they found a person who could help them. She was an interpreter who spoke both their native language and English. They explained that they didn't know the name of their hotel, but they knew which corner it was on. They showed the interpreter what they had copied into their notebook, and the interpreter began to laugh.
    The words which they had so carefully copied were Stop and One Way.
注释
l·a couple 一对夫妇。注意a couple后面用的谓语动词是单数形式。
2·Miami  迈阿密(美国Florida州东南部的一城市)
3·get lost  迷路
4·find their way back  找到回去的路
5·native language  本国语
6·Stop        禁止通行
7·One Way     单行道
点评  这对夫妇特地抄下的原来是普普通通的路标，并非他们以为已万无一失地记下之街道名。
5. A Clever Boy
    I have a seven year old son named John. He loves chocolates. He often takes chocolates instead of meals. Therefore, he gets very bad teeth. The dentist told me not to let him eat chocolates any more. But his grandfather dotes on him very much. He often buys John chocolates even though he knows that they are bad for his teeth. I know that John is his only grandson, who is everything to him. I really don't want to make him unhappy. Therefore, I always allow John to eat the chocolates his grandpa has bought him.
     Yesterday evening I kissed John good night and asked him to say his prayers before going to bed, then I left his bedroom. A few minutes later, I heard John shouting word by word, "Tomorrow -is-my- birthday. May - God- bring - me - a - big - box - of - chocolates. " I went to his room and saw him kneeling on the ground shouting out his prayers. I said, "Don't shout, John. Your dad is sleeping now! God can hear you no matter how softly you talk to him. " Pointing to the next room where his grandpa sleeps, John said secretly, "My God is sleeping. He can't hear me unless I wake him up. "
注释
l·dote on    溺爱，过分偏爱
2·who is everything to him    这是一个非限制性定语从句，意为"约翰是他爷爷的一切"。
3·kissed John good night   跟约翰吻别，道晚安。
4·My God    此处指约翰的爷爷。
点评  小约翰借晚祷大声道出自己的心愿，竟不惜惊醒爷爷的美梦。不知爷爷是否"惊醒"?
6. Who Deserves Help?
    Many years ago, there lived a very rich man who wanted to do something for the people of his town. But first he wanted to find out whether they deserved his help. So he placed a very large stone in the center of the main road into town. Then he hid behind a tree and waited. Soon an old man came along with his cow.
     "Who put this stone in the center of the road?" said the old man, but he did not try to remove the stone. Instead, with some difficulty he passed around the stone and continued on his way. Another man came along and did the same thing; then another came, and another. All of them complained about the stone in the center of the road, but not one of them tried to remove it. Late in the afternoon, a young man came along. He saw the stone and said, "The night will be very dark. Some neighbor will come along later in the dark and will fall against the stone. "
     The young man then began to move the stone. He pushed and pulled with all his strength to move it to one side. But imagine his surprise when under the stone he found a bag full of money and this message: "This money is for the thoughtful person who removes this stone from the road. That person deserves help."
注释
l·deserve                  值得
2·came along               走过来
3·complain                 抱怨
4·fall  against            踢着……而跌倒
5·pushed and pulled with all his strength用尽他所有的力气又推又拉
点评 故事告诉我们，真正为他人着想的人理应得到别人的帮助。
7. Be Medically Examined
     A young man was called up for army service and had to go to be medically examined. The doctor was sitting at a desk when he went in. He said to the man. "Take your coat and shirt off, loosen your belt and sit on that chair. "
     The young man did so. The doctor looked at him for a moment without getting up from his chair and then said, "All right. Put your clothes on again. "
     "But you haven't examined me at all," the young man said in a troubled voice.
     "It isn't necessary, "the doctor said gently. "When I told you to take your coat and shirt off, you heard me all right, so you aren't deaf. You saw the chair I pointed to, so your eyesight's good enough for the army. You managed to take your clothes off and to sit on the chair, so your body must be healthy, and you understood what I told you to do and did it without a mistake, so you must possess enough intelligence for the army. "
注释
l·was called up  被召
2·be medically examined    进行体格检查
3·said in a troubled voice      不安地说
4·possess    拥有
点评  这种体检方式确实反常，连接受体检者也觉得不像，但医生却能自圆其说，道出其科学根据。
8. A Horse Thief
    George Washington was a well-known farmer and soldier before he became the first president of the United States. Here is one of the many stories people told about him.
    Once a neighbor stole one of Washington's horses. Washington went with a police officer to the neighbor's farm to get the horse, but the neighbor refused to give the horse up; he claimed that it was his horse.
   Washington placed both of his hands over the eyes of the horse and said to the neighbor, "If this is your horse, then you must tell us in which eye he is blind. "
    "In the right eye!" the neighbor said.
    Washington took his hand from the right eye of the horse and showed the police officer that the horse was not blind in the right eye.
    "Oh, I have made a mistake," said the neighbor. "He is blind in the left eye. "
    Washington then showed that the horse was not blind in the left eye, either.
    "I have made another mistake," said the neighbor.
    "Yes, "said the police officer, "and you have also shown us that you are a thief. This horse does not belong to you. You must return it to Mr. Washington."
注释
l·claim声称
2· in which eye he is blind 这是一个宾语从句"它哪只眼晴是瞎的"。
点评  面对这个巧妙的提问，心虚的贼不打自招，原形毕露。
9. Mark Twain Was Fooled
    Mark Twain was famous as a writer, but he was also famous as a public speaker and teller of funny stories. He often went from town to town giving lectures.
    One day he was walking along the street of a small town where he was going to give a lecture that evening. He met a young man who said, "Mr. Twain, I'd like to talk to you for a minute, please. I have an uncle that I'm very fond of. The problem is he never laughs or smiles. Can you do anything?"
     "Bring your uncle to my lecture this evening, young man. I guarantee that he'll laugh and smile. Don't worry about a thing. "
     That evening the young man and his uncle sat in the first row. Mark Twain spoke directly at them. He told some very funny stories, but the old man never smiled. Then he told the funniest stories he knew, but the old man's face still remained blank . At last, Mark Twain left the platform almost exhausted .
     Later Mark Twain was talking with a friend about this.
     "Oh!" said the friend, "I know that old man. He has been deaf for years."
注释
1·I'd like to       我想,我愿意
2·guarantee         保证
3·remained blank   依然毫无表情，blank无表情的，空白的
4·left the platform almost exhausted 离开讲台，几乎精疲力竭。此处exhausted是过去分词，表示状态。
点评  幽默大师对着聋子讲笑话，真够"幽默"!

Why?

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