A burglar 入室盗窃者


  
A man went to the police office wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.



　　"You will get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.



　　"No, no, no." said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years."

Catch a cold 得感冒
During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent.



　　"How am I doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round.



　　"Well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold."

英语里24个爆笑离奇的怪词
English is a crazy language. 英语里有许多非常好玩的单词。它们的词意和表明上看起来的完全没有关系。都有哪些个怪词，让我们赶快来瞧一瞧。
There is no egg in eggplant (1)nor ham in hamburger(2); neither apple nor pine in pineapple(3).
鸡蛋和茄子没什么血缘关系；苹果和凤梨的长相差距很大。

English muffins(4) weren't invented in England or French fries(5) in France.
英式松饼的家乡不是英国；炸土豆条的发源地也不是法国。

Sweetmeats(6) are candies while sweetbreads(7), which aren't sweet, are meat.
蜜饯（sweetmeats）不是肉，是甜的；杂碎（sweetbreads）是肉，不是甜的。

We find that quicksand(8) can work slowly, boxing rings(9) are square and a guinea pig(10) is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
流沙其实流得很慢；拳击台是方形的；实验用的小豚鼠的老家不是几内亚，长相和猪属于两种型。

If a vegetarian(11) eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian(12) eat?
素食主义者吃蔬菜，人道主义者吃人（human）？

How can a slim chance(13) and a fat chance(14) be the same, while a wise man(15) and wise guy(16) are opposites?
胖瘦截然相反，可后面跟着chance就都变成“机会渺茫”了；聪明人（wise man）改一个词，就沦落为自作聪明的人（wise guy）。

How can overlook(17) and oversee(18) be opposites, while quite a lot(19) and quite a few(20) are alike?
Look和see是近义词，但oversee监视，overlook意思怎么就是忽视呢；A lot和a few是反义词，但与quite连用，怎么都表示很多的意思呢！

When the stars are out(21), they are visible, but when the lights are out(22), they are invisible.
星星出来了，我们能看到它们；灯灭了，我们就什么也看不见了。

When you wind up your watch(23), you start it, but when you wind up an essay(24), you end it?

给表上发条，表就开始走了；wind up一篇文章，哈哈，文章到此结束啦。

Make Your Own Bed
Farmer: If you want to spend the night here, you'll have to make your own bed.



　　Traveling salesman: That's perfectly all right.



　　Farmer: Here's a hammer and saw. Good night.

It's very interesting!
Thank you !

还有关于什么短语之类的不?

非常崇拜！学英语要注意什么呢？

年来国外人和我们国家也有一样的同感。

The stories seem interesting!